Graphic by Ryan West Good morning everyone! It seems like the topic of learning to say "No!" resonated deeply with many of you. Today we have a guest post from Ryan West about why you can feel good about saying "No!"
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“No.”
It’s probably one of the first words you said as a kid.
And yet, for adult women, it’s often one of the hardest for us to say.
Why?
Because we don’t want to disappoint someone or let them down.
We want to be liked.
And we definitely definitely definitely DON’T want to be considered selfish.
Yet, saying “No” is one of the most powerful words you can say.
Because if you’re stressed and busy, it’s the one word, more than any other, that will keep you sane.
“No,” keeps your schedule from getting too packed. And it helps your life feel more fun and balanced too.
That is, if you can only feel good about saying it.
So here are 3 Tips to Help You Feel Great About Saying No.
1) Saying “No” actually starts with saying “Yes!”
When you say “No” to something, you’re actually saying “Yes” to something else.
Whether that “Yes” is time with your family, or rest on the couch at home by yourself, when you’re clear about what your “Yes” is, that thing you’re fully committed to investing your time in, it becomes much easier to say, “No.”
That’s because the statement isn’t arbitrary or mean anymore, it’s because you have another commitment. Another higher priority that you are choosing to honor.
Tip: Stay focused on your YES, instead of on your No.
2) Saying “No” is Self-less, not Selfish
My personal experience is that when I say, “Yes” when I really want to say, “No,” I commonly get stressed out, overwhelmed, tired, sometimes even resentful. I tend to get moody and not so nice to be around.
This makes it hard for me to show up as the best version of me.
But either way, whether I’m a cranky b*tch or an amazing angel, I affect all the people around me. Then those people affect all the people around them.
So, I’m actually doing the world a big favor by saying, “No” when I really want to say, “No.”
I can spread way more peace and positivity in the world when I honor my “No,” whatever the reason.
If your intention is to make the greatest positive impact in the world, you can’t do that if you’re tired, cranky, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
So saying, “No” truly isn’t selfish.
Saying, “No” is a self-less act that keeps you in the happy zone. Happy you = greater positive impact in the world.
Tip: Stay focused on how saying, “No” increases your positive impact in the world.
3) Saying, “No,” Helps You Know Your True Friends
Let’s face it. Do you really want relationships where you can’t show up and say, “Sorry, I just can’t DO anymore right now?”
Where you can’t feel good about honoring your highest priorities or taking time to rest?
Those who love you will respect you all the more when you have boundaries. Those who don’t were just taking advantage.
Do you really want to keep investing in relationships that don’t help you stay balanced?
Your true friends are going to like you no matter what you say or do.
Remember you are not pizza, you can’t make everyone like you.
So why try?
Tip: Focus on investing in relationships with those who ARE comfortable with you setting boundaries and saying “No.”
Need help learning specifically what to say in order to Say “No” Like a Pro? Then join me for my free webinar this Thursday where you’ll learn strategies for what to say to support your relationships AND take care of you.
--------------------
“No.”
It’s probably one of the first words you said as a kid.
And yet, for adult women, it’s often one of the hardest for us to say.
Why?
Because we don’t want to disappoint someone or let them down.
We want to be liked.
And we definitely definitely definitely DON’T want to be considered selfish.
Yet, saying “No” is one of the most powerful words you can say.
Because if you’re stressed and busy, it’s the one word, more than any other, that will keep you sane.
“No,” keeps your schedule from getting too packed. And it helps your life feel more fun and balanced too.
That is, if you can only feel good about saying it.
So here are 3 Tips to Help You Feel Great About Saying No.
1) Saying “No” actually starts with saying “Yes!”
When you say “No” to something, you’re actually saying “Yes” to something else.
Whether that “Yes” is time with your family, or rest on the couch at home by yourself, when you’re clear about what your “Yes” is, that thing you’re fully committed to investing your time in, it becomes much easier to say, “No.”
That’s because the statement isn’t arbitrary or mean anymore, it’s because you have another commitment. Another higher priority that you are choosing to honor.
Tip: Stay focused on your YES, instead of on your No.
2) Saying “No” is Self-less, not Selfish
My personal experience is that when I say, “Yes” when I really want to say, “No,” I commonly get stressed out, overwhelmed, tired, sometimes even resentful. I tend to get moody and not so nice to be around.
This makes it hard for me to show up as the best version of me.
But either way, whether I’m a cranky b*tch or an amazing angel, I affect all the people around me. Then those people affect all the people around them.
So, I’m actually doing the world a big favor by saying, “No” when I really want to say, “No.”
I can spread way more peace and positivity in the world when I honor my “No,” whatever the reason.
If your intention is to make the greatest positive impact in the world, you can’t do that if you’re tired, cranky, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
So saying, “No” truly isn’t selfish.
Saying, “No” is a self-less act that keeps you in the happy zone. Happy you = greater positive impact in the world.
Tip: Stay focused on how saying, “No” increases your positive impact in the world.
3) Saying, “No,” Helps You Know Your True Friends
Let’s face it. Do you really want relationships where you can’t show up and say, “Sorry, I just can’t DO anymore right now?”
Where you can’t feel good about honoring your highest priorities or taking time to rest?
Those who love you will respect you all the more when you have boundaries. Those who don’t were just taking advantage.
Do you really want to keep investing in relationships that don’t help you stay balanced?
Your true friends are going to like you no matter what you say or do.
Remember you are not pizza, you can’t make everyone like you.
So why try?
Tip: Focus on investing in relationships with those who ARE comfortable with you setting boundaries and saying “No.”
Need help learning specifically what to say in order to Say “No” Like a Pro? Then join me for my free webinar this Thursday where you’ll learn strategies for what to say to support your relationships AND take care of you.
Founder of Becoming Joy, Ryan West is a Stress & Anxiety Relief Facilitator who helps busy women take back control of their lives so that they feel calm and confident. She blends her training in eight different holistic modalities with guilt-free strategies to reclaim your calendar, balance your emotions, and care for others while caring for yourself too. Register
for her latest free webinar: SayNoLikeAPro.com.
for her latest free webinar: SayNoLikeAPro.com.
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